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Mark
Twain - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
Chapter 36
AN ENCOUNTER IN THE DARK
LONDON -- to a slave -- was a sufficiently interesting place. It
was merely a great big village; and mainly mud and thatch. The streets
were muddy, crooked, unpaved. The populace was an ever flocking and
drifting swarm of rags, and splendors, of nodding plumes and shining
armor. The king had a palace there; he saw the outside of it. It made
him sigh; yes, and swear a little, in a poor juvenile sixth century
way. We saw knights and grandees whom we knew, but they didn't know
us in our rags and dirt and raw welts and bruises, and wouldn't have
recognized us if we had hailed them, nor stopped to answer, either,
it being unlawful to speak with slaves on a chain. Sandy passed within
ten yards of me on a mule -- hunting for me, I imagined. But the thing
which clean broke my heart was something which happened in front of
our old barrack in a square, while we were enduring the spectacle
of a man being boiled to death in oil for counterfeiting pennies.
It was the sight of a newsboy -- and I couldn't get at him! Still,
I had one comfort -- here was proof that Clarence was still alive
and banging away. I meant to be with him before long; the thought
was full of cheer.
I had one little glimpse of another thing, one day, which gave me
a great uplift. It was a wire stretching from housetop to housetop.
Telegraph or telephone, sure. I did very much wish I had a little
piece of it. It was just what I needed, in order to carry out my project
of escape. My idea was to get loose some night, along with the king,
then gag and bind our master, change clothes with him, batter him
into the aspect of a stranger, hitch him to the slave-chain, assume
possession of the property, march to Camelot, and --
But you get my idea; you see what a stunning dramatic surprise I
would wind up with at the palace. It was all feasible, if I could
only get hold of a slender piece of iron which I could shape into
a lock-pick. I could then undo the lumbering padlocks with which our
chains were fastened, whenever I might choose. But I never had any
luck; no such thing ever happened to fall in my way. However, my chance
came at last. A gentleman who had come twice before to dicker for
me, without result, or indeed any approach to a result, came again.
I was far from expecting ever to belong to him, for the price asked
for me from the time I was first enslaved was exorbitant, and always
provoked either anger or derision, yet my master stuck stubbornly
to it -- twenty-two dollars. He wouldn't bate a cent. The king was
greatly admired, because of his grand physique, but his kingly style
was against him, and he wasn't salable; nobody wanted that kind of
a slave. I considered myself safe from parting from him because of
my extravagant price. No, I was not expecting to ever belong to this
gentleman whom I have spoken of, but he had something which I expected
would belong to me eventually, if he would but visit us often enough.
It was a steel thing with a long pin to it, with which his long cloth
outside garment was fastened together in front. There were three of
them. He had disappointed me twice, because he did not come quite
close enough to me to make my project entirely safe; but this time
I succeeded; I captured the lower clasp of the three, and when he
missed it he thought he had lost it on the way.
I had a chance to be glad about a minute, then straightway a chance
to be sad again. For when the purchase was about to fail, as usual,
the master suddenly spoke up and said what would be worded thus --
in modern English:
"I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm tired supporting these two
for no good. Give me twenty-two dollars for this one, and I'll throw
the other one in."
The king couldn't get his breath, he was in such a fury. He began
to choke and gag, and meantime the master and the gentleman moved
away discussing.
"An ye will keep the offer open -- "
"'Tis open till the morrow at this hour."
"Then I will answer you at that time," said the gentleman,
and disappeared, the master following him.
I had a time of it to cool the king down, but I managed it. I whispered
in his ear, to this effect:
"Your grace will go for nothing, but after another fashion.
And so shall I. To-night we shall both be free."
"Ah! How is that?"
"With this thing which I have stolen, I will unlock these locks
and cast off these chains to-night. When he comes about nine-thirty
to inspect us for the night, we will seize him, gag him, batter him,
and early in the morning we will march out of this town, proprietors
of this caravan of slaves."
That was as far as I went, but the king was charmed and satisfied.
That evening we waited patiently for our fellow-slaves to get to sleep
and signify it by the usual sign, for you must not take many chances
on those poor fellows if you can avoid it. It is best to keep your
own secrets. No doubt they fidgeted only about as usual, but it didn't
seem so to me. It seemed to me that they were going to be forever
getting down to their regular snoring. As the time dragged on I got
nervously afraid we shouldn't have enough of it left for our needs;
so I made several premature attempts, and merely delayed things by
it; for I couldn't seem to touch a padlock, there in the dark, without
starting a rattle out of it which interrupted somebody's sleep and
made him turn over and wake some more of the gang.
But finally I did get my last iron off, and was a free man once
more. I took a good breath of relief, and reached for the king's irons.
Too late! in comes the master, with a light in one hand and his heavy
walking-staff in the other. I snuggled close among the wallow of snorers,
to conceal as nearly as possible that I was naked of irons; and I
kept a sharp lookout and prepared to spring for my man the moment
he should bend over me.
But he didn't approach. He stopped, gazed absently toward our dusky
mass a minute, evidently thinking about something else; then set down
his light, moved musingly toward the door, and before a body could
imagine what he was going to do, he was out of the door and had closed
it behind him.
"Quick!" said the king. "Fetch him back!"
Of course, it was the thing to do, and I was up and out in a moment.
But, dear me, there were no lamps in those days, and it was a dark
night. But I glimpsed a dim figure a few steps away. I darted for
it, threw myself upon it, and then there was a state of things and
lively! We fought and scuffled and struggled, and drew a crowd in
no time. They took an immense interest in the fight and encouraged
us all they could, and, in fact, couldn't have been pleasanter or
more cordial if it had been their own fight. Then a tremendous row
broke out behind us, and as much as half of our audience left us,
with a rush, to invest some sympathy in that. Lanterns began to swing
in all directions; it was the watch gathering from far and near. Presently
a halberd fell across my back, as a reminder, and I knew what it meant.
I was in custody. So was my adversary. We were marched off toward
prison, one on each side of the watchman. Here was disaster, here
was a fine scheme gone to sudden destruction! I tried to imagine what
would happen when the master should discover that it was I who had
been fighting him; and what would happen if they jailed us together
in the general apartment for brawlers and petty law-breakers, as was
the custom; and what might --
Just then my antagonist turned his face around in my direction,
the freckled light from the watchman's tin lantern fell on it, and,
by George, he was the wrong man!
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